I seriously considered lying to all of you about this, but then I thought, what’s the point of keeping a mission blog if you don’t share both the ups and the downs of missionary work?
So here’s the thing: there is a 95% chance that I’ll be transferred this week.
Why? Well, last week I let my mission president know that I was having a hard time focusing in the singles ward. There are so many people here that I just want to be best friends with. I want to be going to class with them, and track practice, and hanging out watching movies (disclaimer: I promise I have not done any of these things). But I want to be doing these things. Which means I’m not fulfilling my purpose, and I’m not upholding the Character of Christ; and if I’m not doing those things then what’s the point of being here?
So last week I met with President Murdock. We talked, and he let me know that he thinks he will probably transfer me now rather than wait until the end of the transfer. Reason being, Sister Moody will probably get her visa sooner than later, so they need to get another missionary in stat to learn the area.
Emotions that have come as a result of this news: relief, anxiety, hope, fear, trust in the Lord and in His appointed servants, extreme embarrassment (because now I’m just causing trouble), and a whole host of other things. Primarily though, this has resulted in a great deal of humility, and a profound reliance on the Savior.
I have gone through difficult things in the past, but they have been primarily a result of circumstances outside of my control. So this has definitely been one of the hardest things that I have ever self-inflicted . But you know how when you have to make a tough decision you rely on the Spirit to send you those little confirmations that you did the right thing? One of those confirmations came in my mom’s email today:
“I came across a list of things you need to do to be successful. I thought I would tell you one thing from the list each week. This week it is “You have to make the call you are afraid to make.” That reminds me of when you used to be so afraid to make phone calls, haha. But, is there a call you need to make this week that you are afraid to make? Maybe asking for a transfer?”
Oh Mom, how did you know? Must have been the Spirit.
Anyway, I testify that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and that He knows what’s going to happen in the end. We don’t need to know the whole story, we just need to rely on Him to find out what our next step should be.
I also testify that the Savior is there to help us through those difficult times of indecision and heartache.
I also testify that the Holy Ghost is our comforter, teacher, and witness of truth.
I also testify that our Priesthood leaders have the right to receive revelation on our behalf. To guide us, and to comfort us. Many thanks to President Murdock and Bishop Linford for your validation and support.
Finally, a shout out to all of you reading this from the Grand Junction 12th ward. You are the finest individuals I have ever met. I love you, and I want you to know that you have forever changed my opinion of singles wards (for the better, promise). Keep doing missionary work, keep reaching out to the lost sheep, and keep loving each other. Focus on the Savior and his ministry and Atonement, and you’ll be all right.