Here’s what happens when you keep a list of things you want to email about in your planner:
1. Some of our recent converts taught us a neat phrase in Spanish: “Busca un bosque y pierdete.” It means “Find a forest and get lost in it.” We use it a lot.
2. Apparently it’s a thing in Colorado to dip your pizza crust in honey. It’s incredible. You all have to try it right now.
3. Here’s a fun conversation we had with a very old man.
Old Man: “I went to the School of Mines. My professor told me to look to my right and to my left, and know that only one of us would make it to graduation.”
Me: “Yeah I’ve heard the School of Mines is really tough.”
Old Man: “Well not anymore. It’s all gone downhill since they started letting girls in. You’ve heard of the women wanting the Priesthood? It’s the same thing.”
4. I made a nice chunk of change from that car accident we were in a couple of months ago. I highly recommend it for anyone who could use some extra cash.
5. Sister Knowlton and I ate a red hot chili pepper. I don’t know why we did it. I dared her, and she said sure, as long as you do it with me. So we both just popped em whole. I have never been in such agony.
6. Sister Orro is from Australia. She bought tim tams from the world market, and introduced us all to a “Tim Tam Slam.” It was the celestial kingdom of treats. You basically turn a chocolate cookie into a straw, drink warm milk through it, and then eat the resulting melty goodness before it all falls apart. Shout out to KennRush3000, serving in Sydney as we speak.
7. You know how I really like granulated substances, like dirt, salt, laundry detergent, etc? Well, we live by a golf course. Now I’m not saying we crawled under the fence, ran to the sand trap, put some sand in a ziploc, and hightailed it outta there. But I’m also not saying we didn’t.
8. One of our recent converts has three little boys. They keep singing I am a Child of God. It’s the cutest thing in the world.
9. NANOBLOCKS! Mom and Karla, you are incredible. I just opened my nanoblocks ladybug this morning and built it immediately after opening. It is so fun! It’s so much more challenging than legos. Everyone go buy some right now.
10. Best for last. Last night, we went to visit Virgil, a recent convert. While there, George staggers in the building, obviously drunk as a skunk. Over the next twenty minutes he said some truly priceless things. Here are just a few snippets. Oh, and keep in mind, George is from Romania. So read these with a drunk Romanian accent.
George: “So, which one of you is going to marry me?”
Me and S. Pittman: “Virgil.”
George: “No, no, no I’m not gay.”
George: “A man at King Soopers asked me if I bite. I said no I don’t bite, I’m not gay. And even if I was you’re too ugly. But I do bite the ladies. Very gently.”
George: “I had five BMWs, and two, no three Mercedes. But I just sold them.” (He lives with his mother in low-income housing).
George: “Are you married?”
Me: “Yes, yes I am.”
George: “Does he treat you well?”
Me: “He treats me very well.”
George: “I’m happy to hear that.”
And that was the end of our conversation with George.
Have a good week everybody.